Stop Chasing Someone Else’s Ideal: Build Your Best Version of You

If you’ve been around me for a while, you know I’m big on setting goals. But here’s the thing… Sometimes the way we set them can trip us up before we even start.

I learned this the hard way. When I first started lifting weights, my trainer asked me to pick a body type I wanted to work toward. He showed me three photos of guys with very different builds. Without thinking, I picked Ryan Reynolds. (Not rom-com Ryan Reynolds. I am talking Blade: Trinity Ryan Reynolds.) Back then, he was plastered all over Men’s Health with that perfect movie-star physique. To me, that was the goal.

Here’s what I didn’t consider: I’m 5’4″. I don’t have Hollywood lighting following me around. And, spoiler alert, Ryan Reynolds’ genetics weren’t going to show up in my DNA.

Fast forward 6–9 months. I’d worked my butt off, entered my first physique competition, dropped under 5% body fat, and fully expected to look like Ryan Reynolds’ clone in the mirror.

But… I didn’t.

What I saw instead was completely different.

And it was still amazing.

That’s when it clicked. I didn’t need to look like Ryan Reynolds (or anyone else for that matter). My build, my genetics, and my effort came together to create my version of peak self. And honestly? It was better than I imagined, because it was mine.

Here’s the lesson I want every woman to hear: comparing yourself to someone else’s body isn’t motivating. It’s limiting. Magazine covers, Instagram highlights, your friend’s “perfect” transformation. They’re all someone else’s story. They don’t account for your unique body, lifestyle, or life responsibilities.

So, how do you set goals without falling into the comparison trap? Here are a few practical tips:

1. Focus on measurable, personal goals.
Instead of “I want to look like her,” try “I want to deadlift my body weight” or “I want to run a 5K without stopping.” These are goals you control and can track.

2. Celebrate effort, not just results.
Show up, push yourself, and keep consistency high. The scale, the mirror, or the numbers on your InBody scan? They’ll follow.

3. Tailor your fitness to your life.
Strength training, HIIT, mobility work, and nutrition all need to fit your schedule and your body’s needs. Your version of strong and confident might look very different from anyone else, and that’s exactly the point.

4. Ask better questions.
Instead of thinking, “Can I ever look like her?” ask, “Can I look stronger, healthier, and more confident than yesterday?” That shift in mindset makes all the difference.

At Shred 27 in Rocklin, CA, we specialize in helping women stop chasing someone else’s ideal and start building their own. You’ll get workouts designed for your body, nutrition guidance that actually fits your lifestyle, and a community cheering you on every step of the way.

Different isn’t less. Different is the point.

If you’re ready to stop comparing and start creating your version of strong, confident, and fit, we’re here to help. Because the best body you can build isn’t someone else’s—it’s yours.